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Protected: Super Secret Curl Workout for Big Guns!

Does this make me a cardio bunny?

One of my weight club friends was training one day and got some unsolicited advice from one of our older members. Something about doing more “aerobics”. My friend told me he was thinking “Why don’t you fucking die.” Sounds about right to me.

On a side note, I like using terms like “aerobics”, “conditioning” and “speed work” rather than more avant garde terms like “energy systems work”, “GPP” and “dynamic effort method”, respectively. It’s not that I have a problem with using specific terminology, or even with progress in general, it’s just that I don’t think these terms give anything more to the average listener. Further, once these terms leave their original circle, they’re often just used to make yourself sound smarter. I’ve grown up enough that I don’t have much interest in that. If I’m talking to someone who writes programs for a living or is serious about training science, I’ll consider using more precise terminology.

I used the campus rec center rather than my normal gym for this, for precisely the reasons that I think the rec is a chump factory in the first place. The atmosphere is entirely non-aggressive, the people there are largely uninterested, and there are TV’s on the wall. Oh, and there are Hotties everywhere. I swear, when I walked in there was a girl doing the butterfly stretch on the floor with here knees touching the deck and her chest about two hands from it.

I used a stair stepped for about three minutes. Maybe it’s because I haven’t used a stair stepper since 2001, almost 80 pounds ago, or maybe it’s because I’m overestimating my conditioning, but it killed me. I hobbled off it, looked to see if there was any other interesting equipment. I’ve never bothered to actually look closely at the long line of cardio equipment, so I expected there to be a myriad of different kinds, but all I saw were two different kinds of stair steppers, a ton of ellipticals, a treadmill or something and a bike.

Regarding the elliptical, I honestly can’t believe any man would use one. Just watching the path of the akimbo limbs of users of this machine makes my knees, hips and back hurt. If I have my way I’ll never touch one.

I settled on the bike and I wound up using a pathetic work rate (about 100 watts) for 20 minutes and kept the heart rate around 160, which felt like nothing. In fact, I don’t really feel like I did anything. Then I stretched and went home.

I also did my fair share of non-lecherous people-watching. It’s the people really that make the rec, and other commercial facilities, what I call “Chump Factories”. I didn’t think I even saw a 225 bench or a single squatter. I saw more Under Armor and sleeveless t-shirts than I knew existed. I saw a guy with big, soft arms and a mp3 player or heart monitor thingy on his arm that was so tight his subcutaneous arm fat overlapped the band a full quarter inch. I saw a guy on some kind of oblique machine that made my spine hurt watching him. Of course, I only actually saw him do one set and the rest of the time he was just sitting there.

Next time I’m going to man up and try the stair stepper, I just have to realize that I’m doing 2o minutes of continuous work and try not to kill myself right away. That’s a product of my training, I give it all up front and then I’m out of juice.

Does this make me a cardio bunny?

“Sets Over Three are Cardio” and Dairy-Lust

God, I hate rep work. These behind the neck presses killed me, I didn’t get a single set at the rep range I wanted. I should have used an empty bar, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’ll eat my Wheaties next week and make my rep range.

A1: Seated Behind the neck press  95×15, 75×15, 55×15

A2: Lat pulldown 10x2x25

B1: Narrow backwards safety bar squat, heels elevated 115x2x25

B2: laying leg curl 10x2x25

In the last couple months I’ve had three training sessions that made me fight back a mighty bolus of vomit. One was the first night I pulled rep deadlifts with Phil. The second was right after we got the Safety Squat Bar and I thought it was a good idea to do EDT lunges with it. The third was tonight after squats.

C1: DB hammer curl 40x3x10

C2: Safety Squat Bar Hise shrug 150×10, 200x2x10

Sometime during the curls and shrugs I started fantasizing about what I was going to eat after training. Somehow I settled on chocolate milk and the rest of the night I was jonesing for post-workout chocolatey dairy goodness. Then, to make matters worse, one of my powerlifting teammates, a 165 pounder, was talking about hitting a chinese buffet at our next powerlifting meet. You know, the kind of shitty midwestern buffet where everything is covered in sauce and tastes essentially the same. I’m even getting hungry writing it.

external rotations, pushup plus, wrist extensions 3×10

hip abduction and adduction, 45# dumbbell push, 3×9

If there’s something I hate as much as reps, it’s all this minor accessory work. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s important and it helps keep you healthy and I don’t need to do it every single training cycle. The fact remains that it’s shitty and boring and nothing about it is satisfying in the least.

To make matters worse, there weren’t even any Hotties about, as there was a guys intramural basketball tournament. Nobody wants to see a bunch of skinny, scraggly dudes running around high-fiving each other. At least one of them fell down when I was watching, which was pretty hilarious.

I’m actually psyched about using the stair stepper tomorrow.

“Sets Over Three are Cardio” and Dairy-Lust

Last Training Before The Meet

Just dicked around with some speed training and bench.

parallel box squat 225×2, 245×2, 275×2

bench press 135×3, 185×1, 225×1, 275×1, 315×1, 335xmiss I shouldn’t have missed this… but c’est la vie.

That same hottie was back at the intramural b-ball game; what a fox. It was fun working with the team a little bit today. I’ll probably go and do some walking or stationary  bike at the rec, where all the hot coeds train, and take a sauna.

I weighed myself and I was 272 or something, so I’ll just drink protein shakes all day until the night weigh-in and I’ll be fine. As long as I don’t hit the buffet or anything, which is a very real temptation.

I’ll be sure to give my blog-reading public a report from the meet.

Last Training Before The Meet

Bench Work, Hotties, and Spastic Episodes

Did a little bench work tonight. I don’t take pep pills religiously, but I am, in the least, an aficionado of stimulants. I took half a caffeine free Spike and 200mg of caffeine before training and felt like a million bucks.

GHR front elevated on a 2×6. bwx2x10

Close grip bench, index a finger or so outside the smooth.  225×3, 245×3, 275×3, 295×1?(maybe three, I don’t remember), 315×1 (but my spotter touched it, at any rate it would have been legit so I’m counting it.), 325×0, 320×0

I was so pissed after that 325 attempt that I had a mild psychotic episode right in the middle of the gym. I just can’t quite push hard enough to get it once I hit my sticking point. Phil did a great job of making me fight at it though.

I’ve got pretty long wings and that extra reach with the close grip makes my stroke about a mile long. I was hitting my sticking point pretty high, I’d say four or five board press territory.

dumb bell bench 90x2x10, 90x2x9 I alternated with some empty bar rows to the face because I didn’t feel up to doing any “real” rowing.

dumb bell raises in scapular plane 25x2x10

iso back raise on GHR with bar on back 45 for 20s, 45 for 30s

rolling db extensions 20 , 30 reps in 90s

GHR situps – bwx4x4 abs are still killing me

There was a good looking girl in the gym last night, training pretty hard too. There were a couple of girls, one of them in some kind of crop top or sports bra or something that just peeked in, head the Manson or whatever was on the radio, looked at us and decided to leave.

I wasn’t going to train until tomorrow night, but 1) I like training when Phil’s in the gym, and 2) I realized I’m going to be on the road all this weekend, so I won’t be able to train Friday afternoon anyway, so I’m going to train tonight.

I ate a huge amount of food yesterday and I just pounded a big lunch today, so I should be able to double up without any problems. On a related note, I think all that extra chow lead to a good workout last night and I definitely felt “big”.

I’d like to know where in the state of Mississippi I’ll be going this weekend.

Bench Work, Hotties, and Spastic Episodes

Another Extra Workout and Training on the Road

After I blogged Saturday morning, I trained again that night. Same stuff really, did a bunch of GHR’s and then did some stuff for time, rolling extensions and improvised reverse hypers.

Today I went to train in the Chickasaw Wellness Complex and it was less than stellar. This is one reason I don’t like to do meaningful training when I’m away from Ames. I try to make my visits home coincide with a deload week so it doesn’t matter what I do or what weights I hit. A deload, for my meatheaded readers, is when you back off so that you can come back stronger when you resume training at your normal volume and/or intensity.

Anyway, it sucked. There bars are too thick and for some reason too smooth. The sleeves are either too small for the plates or vice versa, so they shift around, even with collars on. I’d step back one foot to squat, and then the other and I’d feel both sides jerk. Needless to say, I didn’t hit any PR’s but I got some good form work done with 315.

Then I did some bench, just because I can and worked up to a single at 295. The benches are super soft and squishy and I was benching out of the power rack. I just wanted to press enough to let the high-fiving tenagers standing around know that I was stronger than them.

Then I did a set of fifty on the circuit machines of rows and hamstring curls and did some rolling extensions.

There were only a few hotties in the gym, and luckily, I’m uglier than sin and dress like a vagrant hobo past his prime, so they didn’t approach me and interrupt my training. Much like the cheerleaders I saw when I went to get my little brother’s keys so Dad and I could go home, they probably weren’t 18 anyway, so no loss.

 Just then I locked my keys in my truck and had to have my dad drive me home so I could get his spare key and open it up. That totally sucked.

Anyway, training sucked, but I’ve been working in the barn driving hundreds of nails, so I’m sure my right arm strength will be through the roof, and I built an 8 inch box to box squat with.

 Happy T-day everyone.

Another Extra Workout and Training on the Road

Punching The Clock

Today was nothing special, just got in and did some stuff, bitched and complained about it and went home.

speed bench, three grips, with 2 second pauses 205x9x3 What with the abs being sore, it was really hard to get into a good arch.

JM Press 115x6x6 I dont know if I’m doing these right, but they kind of make my elbows ache and then my wrist had a burny feeling by my thumb. If you know what I’m doing wrong, comment.

Overhead Rope Extension 70x2x12-10

Bent Over Flys 15x3x18-15-12

Front Bridge aka Plank 80x60seconds

I thought I might do some hamstrings tonight but instead I’ll do them tomorrow as an extra workout, probably GHR’s and some kind of ab work. Seeing as how I’ll have all next week to stuff myself and deload, I might as well go for broke in the weighroom.

Incidentally, no hotties outside the weightroom tonight.

Punching The Clock