Sweet Conorditioning and Pulling

military press: 135×3, 155×3, 185×3, 195×2x3 I had to allow my form to break down a little into a push press on that one. I am probably going to have to us lighter weights for the next wave on the military press.

pullups: bw+25×4x5 I’m pretty happy with the pullup progression. I just need to make sure that my added weight is keeping pace with my weight loss. I didn’t bother to weigh today since I ate so much junk last night/this morning that I know my bodyweight was up. To add weight, instead of using my neck harness to hand weight around my neck or through my belt, I’ve just been tucking the skinny part of a dumbell into my weight belt, which I can do since it’s a double x.

conventional deadlift: 405×1, 405×3x3 (belt) My belt is fitting hella loose. I need to drill a new hole in it to accomodate my waifish waist and hawt abz.

Pull-a-pullooza

hang snatch 95# x 15 reps

sumo deadlift high pull 45# x 25 reps

Four rounds for time

This is what I’ve decided to call this workout, since it’s a smorgasbord of pulls. Last time it took me nearly 28 minutes, today I got it done in 22:24, which is a 20% improvement. Go me! I could definitely tell I was working harder/faster. I was bumping right up to my lactate threshold. I kind of want to just blast through it and vomit so I can get it out of the way. I figure once I upchuck I’ll know how hard I really need to be working.

My glutes and hamstrings are very sore afterwords, which I take as a good sign. Ghetto booty here I come! My traps were not as painfully pumped/sore as they were last time, but close.

Protected: Super Secret Curl Workout For Big Guns! Part II

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Deadlizzles

Part of the inspiration for this program was some of the Russian source training literature I’d found. I think the Russians are full of shit. I’m not sure how well some of their numbers mesh for people not on boatloads of delicious androgens.

deadlift: 435×25x1, 3ish minutes rest

skipped front squats

close grip bench: 225×10,15

chin up: bwx3×2

GHR: bwx3×4

skipped log press: I didn’t think it was even worth doing sets of two with a namby pamby weight on the log press. This was a case of skipping something easy, unlike the front squats, which was an issue of skipping something hard because I felt like shennanigans.

I’m hoping we can get our workouts done faster and include more accessory work once we get our conditioning built up.

Holiday Updating!

I seem to have come down with some kind of illness. For a guy who doesn’t get any action, I sure get sick a lot. Seems like the worst of both worlds. I was going to train this week and hit some triples, but I’m going to take it easy, get my diet cleaned back up and jump in next week with my sets of five. In the mean time, here’s a little poem I wrote about how I really feel:

I want to be jacked, I want to get yoked
Ellipticals and broccoli, what a cruel joke

Squats and deadlifts, cupcakes and tv dinners
Only ladies and manboys work out to get thinner

I turn red and bleed on a big squat attempt
Still less painful than climbing the stairs to my apartment

If you don’t know, fat makes you strong, see,
That’s why I have these folds hanging off me

Only a few more pounds, on my frame and my total
Till I can get some gear, a shirt and suit and get fucking moto

Till then, in the gym and buffet line I’ll be
Dreaming of waddling on and off the platform, victoriously

First Week of Rep Bench Press

It’s weird to me doing sets of high reps without doing any heavy work. I don’t like it.

rack jerk: 135×3 (press). 185×3, 205×3, 225×3, 235×3

bench throws: empty bar x 2×3

bench press: 135×5, 185×5, 225×10, 275×9, 295×5

close grip bench: 225×8 with pauses

dumbbell incline: 110×6, 100×9, 90×10

machine rows: 90×3x10 holding top position for a momentary pause

skipped db extensions because my elbows have been giving me trouble. Same reason that I did more warm up reps on bench than normal.

ez bar curl: 95×10, 105×2x10

mini band pressdowns, on knees, just pumped out lots of reps and according to Kyle, looked like a kitten playing with yarn

GHR side bends: 25×3x10

YTWL – 5’sx15,8

I did some extra work rolling on the pvc pipe before and after training and I think it’s helping. Our female team mates have been hard to coordinate schedules with, but Kristen came in and got some work done pulling full deads from the floor. She’s a strong gal and could show a lot of our members a thing or two.

Kyle did a bunch of extra work stretching and using the pvc too and he’s starting to be able to get into a much better setup on the bench. I really hope this helps him blow up on the press.

Pam and Kristen are amazing…

…they got up and trained while I was still in bed. Here’s what they did:

Jerks: 4 sets of 8 @ 65 lbs
Front squat: 4 sets of 8 at 85 lbs
Bench:
 warmed up with about 15 reps of just bar
KK- 1 set of 6 with 10's
    1 set of 6 with 12 1/2
    1 set of 3 with 12 1/2
Pam-1 set of 12 with 10
    1 set of 6 with 15
    1 set of 5 with 15

Here’s what Captain Volume (yours truly):

power jerk from rack: 135×2, 185×2, 205×2, 225×2, 235×2, 250xmiss

medium grip bench press: 135×3, 185×3, 225×3, 275×3, 295×3, 315×3

towel bench: 315×3 I used a rolled up yoga mat, and it just wasn’t working right. There’s too much squish with 3 plates.

dumbbell low incline: 100×5x5, 90×5x5

machine row: 90×5, 115×9x5

dumbbell extensions: 40×10x5

ez bar curl: 95×5, 115×4x5, 95×5x5

This is where my grand plans for doing ten sets each of all my accessory work disintegrated.

GHR sidebends: bwx10

YTWL: 15×4 I was just guessed, too much weight for these and I’d been in the gym long enough I just didn’t care.

After I had my amino acid/whey hydrolysate/wazy maize shake and an obligatory handful of pills, we went to KFC and I had a whole box of shit. I washed it done with another protein shake and now I feel jacked. Go me.

Boy Oh Boy!

I had a strict time limit for training tonight, because I wanted to catch the bus so I could go to King Buffet with my roommate. I bustled right along and got in and out in about 1:15.

preacher curl: 85×20,3,2

Captain’s of Crush No. 1 gripper: many sets and reps

one leg calves, standing on boards in power rack with Safety Bar: 60×10

GHR with mini band around neck: 3×3

front squat: 225×1, 275×3, 295×3, 315×1

Tabata Bike Sprints: setting 18 on the bike, 20 seconds on, 10 seconds rest, for 4 minutes I nearly shit out my spleen during/after these. Then I finished peddaling until I hit the 15 minute mark. Then I jumped on the bus and got ready for The Reckoning.

Before my shower, I had 7-10 grams of creatine, 10mg of vanadyl, 2.5 grams of vitamin C and 5 grams of BCAA’s in ice water.

I don’t know how much I ate, but I kind of feel ill. I finished up with a huge plate of pineapple with a little watermelon, some lychee, a strawberry and a half a piece of coffee cake. At one point I told Geoff “I think I have a nosebleed” to which he said “My heart hurts.”

Luckily there were some fat chicks and Iowa State football players there, so I felt pretty good about my gluttony. I’m going to look/feel so swole in the morning.

Drinkin’ and Cruisin’ on my Holiday

Happy Independence Day, go out and utilize your Constitutional Rights. Pen an eccentric rant against the government, buy a gun and tell some soldiers trying to stay in your house to go to Hell.

Personally, I slept in until about 8:30 or so and went for a bike ride. Nothing like getting up and pushing peddals for an hour or so and I’ve been doing a ton of housework since then. That and drinking a ton of water. I picked up a gallon jug of drinking water in Thompson, Iowa and I’ve been doing the bodybuilder thing carrying it around and trying to finish it by the end of the day. Between that and the other fluid I drink, I know I’m exceeding a gallon a day. I think this makes the creatine work better, and I’m positive it makes selling plasma easier.

Another Reason To Dislike “Energy Drinks”

I was perusing the grocery store today and at checkout I saw a new energy drink. The ingredients actually looked pretty good, so I picked one up. The only ingredients I remember off the top of my head are caffeine, EGCG, taurine and arginine. As I was waiting I checked out the label more closely. The “energy blend” was 6.2 grams of sucrose and the other aforementioned ingredients.

Know how much sugar was in a serving? Six grams! So of the energy mixture, 6 grams was sucrose, pure table sugar, and only 200mg of the other ingredients. 200mg is pretty close to a normal dose of caffeine, so I’d bet the drink only had trace amounts of taurine, EGCG and arginine. That would be fine if that was an effective dose, but a normal dose is in the gram range! That’s an order of magnitude difference.

As you can imagine, I put it back on the shelf, disappointed. I’ve always contended that “energy drinks” were a big scam and I think just looking at their labels with a critical eye is damning evidence. You can achieve the exact same effect with plain old generic brand caffeine tablets for a fraction of the cost, but I guess it’s not cool. Just make sure to follow label directions and discontinue if you have any adverse reactions – be safe!

Bad Chest Training – But Good Deadlifting

I feel like I’m sandbagging my upper body training. I sort of have an excuse today, because our gym doesn’t have 130’s, so I tried to move up from 125’s to 135’s and couldn’t quite get it. I’ll have to really pour the heat on next time and get a ton of reps with the 125’s, otherwise I’ll have to switch that movement out. I also felt like shit in the gym today, I don’t know why. It was a little hotter today than it has been, and I haven’t been eating any cottage cheese. It’s hard for me to believe that casein has been making that big a difference, but next time I get groceries I’ll throw it back in and see how it does.

db flat press: 75×5, 135×4, 125×4,4,1

bb overhead press: 165×6x1×1

reverse scrape-the-rack press: 205×15,5,5 Nice!

conventional deadlift: 315×1, 405×1, 455×1, 500×4, 425×10 These last two sets were both PR’s for that many reps.

wide grip lat pulldown: 14×10,5,3

I definitely understand why Dante says no direct trap work, I feel my traps after pretty much every upper body day.I feel like from the nipples up I’m already looking more jacked, and my triceps are looking pretty good. I can’t wait to see how this is going to play out over the summer.